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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Vet Suicides

Sorry,

I've been away for the last couple of weeks but we had some serious family issues. I would explain it if I could but you would never believe me. I still don't believe it happened to us.

Think Alfa Dog

Then let it go and lets just say my chick made it home alive.

Now, lets get back to vet suicides.

It turns out that the head of the VAs Mental Health program, Dr. Ira Katz, very specifically chose to hide the real number of vet suicides that are occurring while vets are under the care of the VA. He misrepresented the data to a level that can almost be considered criminal. He is a man under great pressure from an administration that would like to hide what we are all going through and so he stuck his moral compass back in his ruck and marched on. I don't condone it but I understand it. Please check the link below and decide for yourself.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24302814/

Here is my two cents:

Because of my wife's post Iraq PTSD, our family has been receiving mental health care from the VA for over two years now. It is not always perfect, It doesn't always work, and sometimes I walk away wanting to smack somebody but they are always there.

My wife's VA health care workers are killing themselves to take care of us and to provide hope. I know it doesn't always seem like it by I will always be thankful to them. I'd thank them out loud here - they deserve it - but the butterfly theory always stops me from sharing names here. You know who you are and I appreciate you, my bbf (beautiful blond girl for you newbies) appreciates you too.

She would never admit it but she needs you.

BBF may not be healed but she's still here and given the statistics from the article linked above, I'll take it. The problem is not that there are so many vet suicides. A lot of us have served and many will carry these scars forever. We accept this as a part of service. The crime here, is that most of you don't know how badly we are suffering and the man most able to share that with you, hid it because his political masters don't want you to hear more bad news about the WOT. They want sunshine and roses.

This is war folks - no roses left.

Just thorns.

Here is the info you need to share and demand that your political representatives take care of.

Over one million Iraq vets
34% plus PTSD rates
Over 4045 Killed and over 65,000 wounded

Our VA is underfunded and does not have the resources to care for us. The providers there (not the bureaucrats) will go to any lengths to help us but there is only so much they can do with inadequate resources. We came home broken, messed, mentally torn up and it has changed our lives. Most of us have lost jobs, houses, money and lifestyles because we stand on a wall for everyone else. The Army cannot afford to take care of its own so it is passing the buck to the VA. I'm sure it is the same with the Corps as well.

Send Help - we need it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Please God Make me a McCain-Rice Ticket

Twice in one day!

Don't tell my wife - she'd never believe I have the stamina. I'm back here for the second time today because I read the blog, linked below, on CNN.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

Rumors are rampant among the conservative elite about McCain's running mate. Some have suggested Condaleezza Rice. They just found out how to guarantee my vote. Although some of my democratic friends out and about (LA, NY etc) are probably having nightmares right now, I think this would be a rockin ticket and I would stand on a corner waving a sign for them! Condi stood up to Rummy when no one else would, She's Bill Clinton smart (i.e. oodles of smart) and she knows the global landscape better than anyone else in the United States - aside from maybe the B man himself.

I know she said she's looking forward to going back to Stanford and she'll never see this but I'm going to ask anyway.

Please Madame Secretary! Please... seriously consider running as John McCain's VP. If you do, I will stand on a corneer and wave a sign for you.

Wow - that felt good


although not in a Scarlett J and Jello kind of way.

I had made a promise not to wade in to the politics of the upcoming election on here but, as you can see, I'm breaking it and I will probably continue to do so. As a vet and the husband of a 100%disabled Iraq vet I can no longer sit on the sidelines. Ladies and Gentlemen, whether you agree with it or not, we are at war. I actually like Hillary and I think Barack is one of the best speakers I have ever heard but the reality is, Hillary will say whatever she thinks I want to hear and Barack, despite the fact that he says everything beautifully, has no plan. We need a president who can plan and who is execution oriented (not Al Queda in Iraq execution - get crap done execution). As a nation at war, we need a president who has seen combat. Far too often over these last sixteen years, me and mine have been put in harms way by men who have never wondered if they would live to see the next sunrise.


We cannot accept that while we are at war.

Adding Condoleezza Rice's incredible intellect to John McCain's no nonsense, across the aisle, approach to government might just be what we need to get our foreign and domestic messes sorted out.

BTW - since I'm breaking all the rules tonight, here's a shout out to a great actress, producer, H-land type out in LA - A.L. and her significant other - H. Its been too long guys and I am uber Impressed that someone in your line of work is proud of being a Republican. That takes guts and personal courage! I hope you're having good luck with that special something you're trying to get.


P.S. Would have used your names but life is fragile and you know me - I'd hate to be the butterfly.


Operation Purple - Serious Today

Its warm (55°) and kinda cloudy today in Denver. South of town where I live, the snow is expected to start flying tonight. Winter Storm Warnings and 4 to 8 of the white stuff.

You've got to love spring time in the Rockies.

I don't talk about my kids too much in here. Most of that is intentional. I love them, would be lost without them but the reality is they just need to try to be kids again. What they've lost, they'll never get back, no matter how hard I try so I usually leave them out of this.

If you and your children have ever lived through having your significant other being medevac'd out of Iraq or Afghanistan you would know that an Army casualty notification kills a piece of their childhood. I hid my wife's injuries until she was within a day or two of coming home. Then I sat down and tried to explain it all to them.

BTW - I probably screwed that part up too. Just add it to the list!

I didn't let them meet her plane at Fort Bragg. She was going straight to the hospital in an ambulance anyway. I did let them visit her there though.

Like us, kids go through phases of loss when dealing with a mom or dad who doesn't hike or climb or play Frisbee or kayak or do any of that fun stuff anymore. we all go through these phases of loss but I think it is harder on them. It has to be - ten year olds haven't learned to deal with loss or pain. Come to think of it - neither have I.

I'm digressing - Sorry!

The point of this post is to talk about Operation Purple: Operation Purple is a series of summer camps around the country for kids of service members who are deployed. Developed and promoted by the national Military Family Association(NMFA) with some serious sponsorship from the Dells and Sears, it is a place where military kids get to be kids again. our children need to be around other kids who know what their lives are like. They need to be around kids who can relate to what they have gone through. They also run some camps for the children of disabled service members and disabled vets of the WOT. These kids (Mine) have a whole other list of issues to deal with.

Please check out the link and spread it around.

http://www.operationpurple.org/

Peace

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Iraqi War Vets and Families

Although the gist of this blog has always been about vets and their families, I'll be the first to admit that I've strayed.

Sorry

In my defense, any of you living in "The Suck" understand that its nice to get away from it once in awhile... and the posts about Scarlett Johannson and Jello are a perfectly normal reaction to a stressful environment so I think you should forgive those too. Time to get back to the real reason I'm here and to give a couple of shout outs:

http://www.groups.msn.com/IraqWarVeterans

Any vet, family member of a vet, friend of a vet and all of the above should check out this link. Its a great group on MSN Groups for, by and about vets. Trust me, the one thing we all need to deal with all of this is someone or many someones who are going through exactly the same thing. Its a great site. Sometimes a little annoying - you can only take so much pain in a day.In the end though, who am I to tell someone whose been over there or married to someone who is back here but mentally still over there to give it a rest. I do after all, write about it every day.

http://www.museoffire.net/Welcome.html

Lawrence Bridges' Muse of Fire is an exploration of the human, historical, and literary value of “Operation Homecoming:” a project created by the NEA to help troops and their families write about their wartime experiences. Featuring interviews and readings by US troops, their families, and distinguished contemporary American writers.

This is a great link to the Film Muse of Fire by larry Bridges. Take a minute and hit Youtube and search Muse of Fire to see some shorts from the film. I can't watch it all the way through without crying and my wife can't watch it all. Of course, I'm in it.


TIA

This is Arabia

Sunday, April 6, 2008

I'm an ass

I turned old this week and I made a big deal out of no one making a big deal out of my birthday.

No one did.

I was pissed. After three and a half years of the post Iraq Army, the VA, The PTSD, the bullsh$#$% the tears, the beers and the lack of sleep, you would think I would learn to say what I mean and mean what I say.

I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that I didn't get a birthday or the fact that I'm older. I think we all probably know the answer to that. I'm still beating myself up because I miss early mornings with bad coffee and fresh Copenhagen as some foreign sun comes up. I live for that but I can't go down that road. It wouldn't be fair to my wife or my kids. I know that. I have known it. I'll always know it.

Still....

The only time in my life I have ever felt truly alive is at 0400 running thirty feet and a hundred knots with fresh batteries in my nods. If you haven't done it, you can't imagine how good it feels.

Sighhh

On a good note, I figured out how to play my music as you read this.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Reap the Whirlwind

I turned old today

Arggghhhhhhh!

Its funny but as I get older I wonder how much is payback. Eventually, we're all going to pay the man I just wonder if my beautiful blond girl is paying for me or for her.

You know the deal - sins of the father.

Maybe its sins of the husband.